19th June 1:06AM

My skin doesn’t feel real,

As I touch and stroke.

My head pounds fast

And hearts tired music,

Of the beats that passed.

24th April 4:56 PM

Blistered nails

Chipped and old

Black and cracking

Worn of wearing

Signs of tickings

Done and dusted

Weaving with

That warmth

A’ prickling

April 5th

Juxtaposition.

Your soft lips leave rough scars

Forever’s grip walks away

A bliss horror of

Leaving and loving

Goodbye will always return

i found some old stuff

i'm going to post some of it....

I Waxed My Legs Last Night

And as I slept I dreamt

Those small red bumps appeared

As pain leapt from the pores

Blood began to speckle

As they slowly smoothed

It became a red trickle

Covering all the skin

It seeped from every space

The sheets that once where pale

Where looking rather frail

Washing out my skin

Face grown gray and stale

And colour leaps  

The fox’s way

Be my teacher, creature;

Wide eyes and live

At first morning rise...

Your rough urban hair

Far from my fair

Oh, sweet girl...

Chloe, did anyone ever tell you that you’re adorable?

Or that you’re too honest?

And that sometimes, when you wear your heart

Smeared across your sleeve

...people rub dirt into the wet.

Sweetie, you’re an angel without her wings,

Who plucked away your feathers?

Don’t you know that evil beings

Feed off wishes pure and clean

...please eat away their ties to you,

Your hearts so full of gold;

A heavy weight to hold.

Alive with love of a moment

I wish I was there to feel

The butterflies

Creep about your body

Twist your insides

And flutter through your words

I love to know you feel

This very way for me

I’d love to see you lustre

All your love for me

I love you.

The covers of my bed stifled lonely sobs,

“I can’t do this” I muttered into the heavy air.  I couldn’t decide if I was talking to myself or you... maybe somebody bigger still. 

My thoughts became a train of messy emotions bombarding each other in a composed mix of love and hate.  My heart was bound as if by a thick elastic band – restricted, I struggled to pull the oxygen from the air. 

“I don’t know what to do-“ I choked out the words; they lingered with my tired breathing “...if I can’t be with you...”

I rocked myself back and forth, child again, I attempted to calm my quaking body.  I dug my nails into flesh as I grasped for something within myself to hold onto.  Nothing, I scraped across my skin, leaving trails of creepers, the pain I could feel, but it wasn’t enough.  

Role reversal

You had a noose

About my neck,

Now you’re the one

That cowers

In the shame

Of sweet affection.

. L . O . V . E .

A dark growl of cloud rumbles across the sky

Rolling and tumbling
Curling and creeping

It teased its way through bright of day

Patterns and spirals as lightening crackles

Pitter patters of slamming droplets on

Window panes a- shaking with the thumping

Through the shaking ground – quaking with

Fear of another strike

From the strong beam and

Mumbles of volume through settling skies

You.

It’s night and it’s cold

But your solemn kisses

Could save my soul

Sweet addict

Breathe it in

Sweet smoke

Laugh and splutter

Doesn’t matter

Just keep going

Acquired taste

False love

Take a break

Pause your life

An easy drag

Shortens to

Solitude

You could just have

Heard the words

“Drink the water”

Fairytales

Calm and serene the music of the land played on softly – setting a yellow-green hue rhythm.  Magic.

“Slow down everyone,

You’re moving too fast.”

Gentle plucking of life’s strings, he was there – he played his music,

They sang their song;

“Slow down everyone,

You’re moving too fast.”

Touch of lips – whisperings of muttered belonging to this meadow and of him to her. 

“The possibilities are endless”

She said to him....

Drifting

Tears tumble,

Words mumble...

I don’t know what to say

You just seem so far away

The pasts old ways

And feelings of those days

That old sin

Was hidden within

THE BLOOD OF THE NIGHT.

Rough and shouting.  She jumps through, rags of sky bound round her, misleading a ‘smooth’ body.  Fine razors spread over limbs set in as she pins my wrists; restraint.  Skin to skin, blood begins to leak from contact of our bodies.  A wicked smile keeps me aware of her torturously tempting intentions for me, aware of my painstaken state I do not call out.  Drawn in, I was by the calling of her evil essence; desperation to know what was next.

I pound against her tiny stature, sure I could break right through with powerful limbs; her expression jested, she felt my fear – loved it.  She teased with the inflictions of pain; ground her thighs to my hips.  Too much blood, I was sure.  Panic stricken, I thrashed in her grip, rubbing my flesh to hers; grating mine away.  The bones and veins of my wrist becoming clear above my head. 

My eyes, wide with terror as hers dilated with pleasure watching me scream and shout and growl.  Sounds rotting in my throat as it grew raw from agony of voices’ volume.  She began to scare as my calls of desperation where heard...

She began to flee.  The world would name me crazy, wrapping my bloody hands round hers I dug my nails deep into her flesh; she let out a yelp of retort as weakness became her own. 

If Jesus gave me divine inspiration

I wonder what words

Would fill my page

Words of love?

Of hope?

Of peace?

Oh surely not...

Wouldn’t that just be too

...too cliché?

Juxtaposition:

Your soft lips leave rough scars

Forever’s grip walks away

A bliss horror of

Leaving and loving

Goodbye will always return

Appropriate behaviour.

Mm... The craving

For your sweet smell

For those strong hands

Stroke my shaking thighs

I call for the gentleman

With my gentle purr

So eyes can settle

And teeth can nip

Listen, babe...

"Throw your heart out in front of you, and run ahead to catch it."

Blistered nails

Chipped and old

Black and cracking

Worn of wearing

Signs of tickings

Done and dusted

Weaving with

That warmth

A’ prickling

Streets of gold

She walks – graceful as ever,

All who see, they’ll remember

How her body moves like water

How her words sing like love.

You see, her heart is of a cool

Warmth of glowing soul

Delicately hidden in a hollow

Cage, blistered with  bones

She is cruel to be kind

To those who dare be there

In the midst of this...

This angel

Please fade away.

Where to begin...

This tick on my skin?

Makes me frail

As my skin grows pale

All this gentle fear,

Grows the more I hear

I’ll find a way

- ask you some day...

Angels scatter

With pitter patter,

Angels splatter

Blood right from their veins.

As droplets fall,

There o’ so small

And smears fade to stains.

Wings and dreams,

Burst at their seams

To steer away confusion.

But fly away,

Just so we may

Find our earned conclusion.

Equinox.

Dance – it’s near,

The air is clear,

That time of year,

Again – it’s here!

Listen, they jeer,

An icy tear

Has gone, now cheer!

As colds sheer

Volume stops to veer

Away from here

We can loose the fear

Don’t you know?

It’s OUR year!

Under My Skin.

I can still smell you; a soft aroma, it both crazes and calms my yearnings.

I can still feel you; fingers and lips weave threads of gold beneath my skin.

I can still taste you; delicate twists of tongue and relishings of luscious flesh.

I can still hear you; your sweet and seductive breath creeps across my neck. 

And I wonder, are you still here? Near to me...

I hope for always and I wish,

I wish that every soft encounter

Will lead to yet another

So that I may have you linger,

For just enough time longer.

An hour of darkness

An hour for our earth

A dark calm settles

A warm glow flickers

As time is slowing

And flames are dying

Our ‘necessities’

Fading...

Our Lord

God is love.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

Glitter

I want to help you

Pull you from the roaring waters

I can offer my hand,

Ask you to walk;

Walk with me?

I am scared

But, that doesn’t stop me

Wanting, wanting to

Be your...

Your guardian angel

Gorilla

And when she’s there

-        Intertwined, weaving, winding,

Creepy, elegant, dirty legs

Tightly wrapped round waist

Of elder. She sits and

Is waiting...

Silver threads; riches and

Money, glitz and glamour

Round and around

Her slender neck.  Snap. 

Strings on a guitar

A fool for fire, you say you like it rough...

I can restrict you, from objecting

From my demands.  Bind you in control.

Trust is rich, deep as... deep as a scar,

A mild memory.  Of me. 

Patient, tense and sweating; anticipation. 

All this pain, the many sensations. 

Don’t you hate that you love; this.

Yes, I will pull you close, and yes,

Our connection will grow – as you die. 

In my arms. 

February

Painted world; bring your brushes,

Sculpt your life

Let the feathers float on by,

Trailing glitter – adding all

There needs to be.

Walking in the orchard

Golden: glows the sun on strong bark.

And the red of ripening fruit

Gleams past all the green in leaves.

The emerald of the ivy as it weaves all up.

Lilac of sweet, small flowers nestle at my feet,

I trample soft grey through damp

Grass, lightly glittered with silver dew drops.

Presence

“can we please,

Just be quiet for

A little while, I’m

Finding it hard

To breathe,

The words

They don’t

Come easy to me

Now.”

Its soft, and it’s calm,

Together we are lonely,

I like it; when were together,

Its soft and it’s calm.

I’m glad that I can speak to you,

Share a mere whisper of my voice

From me to you, and you to me.

I am softly connected, to your

Gentle presence 

Spring is coming

In the midst of the cold,

As the ice grows thin and

The wind blows rough,

There is a small thing, a

Beckoning call; from the

Fairies of life, the

Buds of the earth and

The promise of spring.

I dreamt a love song

Beneath the soft glow of branches, and the low light of leaves, the sound settled.  It drifted to us, a verse upon the breeze.  Scared of the truth that was playing, we lay there in the calm; nestled to your body. 

I watched us from the branches, of the chestnut tree.  I watched us being contented, relaxed unto the breeze. 

And softly in the distance the voices kept right on... singing away all the sorrow, sending the pain to the earth, allowing me to love you, let me become whole. 

Fawn

Be gentle, but bite

I’ll caress if you keep me close.

Be gentle, don’t let me doubt

You’ll haunt my dreams of fear

Be gentle - don’t be scared...

You won’t hurt me, just touch me

Be gentle, tighten your grip.

Be gentle, on my smooth skin, as you

Crush my bones, with clever words.

Be careful. Be rough.

Adore Love me.

Confrontation

You cannot hide from me. I feel it in your eyes; you are lonely.  I want to pull you from it, help you, and free you from the mud.  It grips; you love it, a comfort in what you know. 

I can show you, show you how to feel, just let me in... Let me, let me pull you, pull me from the mud.  I won’t let you fall again.  I want to pull you, save you, help you. 

.I.will.be.there.

Let me.

I will not let you down. 

Believe as the fireflies play

Quiet.  And shy.  He plays, he keeps playing, simply because, he believes.   Metal beads chink in my palms as I watch him re-build as he sits, sits on a hard, wood stool.  He fits together the things he thought he knew, the keys like nooks in a puzzle.  What he once believed, it evolves into something, something different, new.  Something dark, as light shines form where he did not know.  The black and white that once were so clear, blend before his eyes into shades of grey between the notes.

Happy, is the Old Cello

He plays on through the rain,

He plays as the water flows down, in

Dribbles and drizzles on

The cravings of an old cello

His face is sad as he

Hears the songs from long ago

Music from the place he

Once knew, long ago, it was.

"To make you feel my love (8)"

I need to know this first, 
It's becoming a deja-vu,
I just want you to know, 
I need to believe


I want you to tell me, 
And I need you to mean it, 


...I'm hanging by a thread

Sacred.

Yes, that’s us,

What I’m talking about,

When I say:

“It’s sacred”

When I say:

“It fits”

When I say:

..”I’m just happy”